My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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