Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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