Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So apparently I’m into choking now
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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