Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
