I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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