Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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