I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
