Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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