ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
