He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
