so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
