Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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