Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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