I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
