I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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