david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
