You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
