your room smells of hookers.
And success
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
