I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
