It's just like the Real World with babies
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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