she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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