you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
