We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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