He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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