I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
