i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I have already put on my inside pants.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
