I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
