he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
