you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Maybe he injected his testicle?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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