Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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