And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
