The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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