You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
