Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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