I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize