Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
