finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
