ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
