Barsexuality is the new black.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My feet surprised me
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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