There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize