Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
