I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
