I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
