Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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