well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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