bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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