I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize