Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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