I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I puked a lego.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
