dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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