those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
