I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
