i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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