the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
is it fun? or sober?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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