whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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