No stitches, just platelets and will power
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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