if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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