dude i'm inner monologue high
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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