Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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