So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
