Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
