What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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