he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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