Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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