she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
All I want is dick and wine.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
