considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
