why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
