tell your sister to shave her snatch
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
