can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He called his prostate his "boner button".
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
