I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
