We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I showed him my bush... on skype.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
