Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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