i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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