In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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