There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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