the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
