i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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