There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
