So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
