I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
