Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
