What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
