How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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