Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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